Things I Wish I’ve Done, But Going To Do Now That This Is Pretty Much Turning Into A Bucket List.
1. Ballroom Dancing. My grandparents were awesome ballroom dancers and showed me how to cut a rug but I’d like to really learn with the blinding sparkly costumes.
2. Not kill a plant so I could eventually grow a garden filled with plants and random veggies and shit. I mean I really just want to do it because gardening gear is so cute. The little hat and gloves! Ugh. <3
3. Navigate my way through Manhattan. LOL Grid system what?
4. Get my biker license so I can give my dad a heart attack and ultimately become the Fonz.
5. Sky dive so I can shit mid flight like a bird.
6. Become a true vegetarian because of the animals and not because of a diet trend. But like, why do you have to taste so good?
8. Play something on the guitar besides The Little Drummer Boy
9. To Sing a Juanes song and actually know what I’m saying because 4 years of Spanish just wasn’t enough
10. Travel more. I mean, duh, this is on everyone’s list. I should have put this at the top.
11. Climb something like Jon Snow and Ygritte.
12. Hug an elephant and not die.
13. GO TO DISNEY BEFORE I EXPIRE AND DIE A MISERABLE BITCH
14. Finish my trilogy: How I Killed My Father Parts I & II and I’m Just a Girl Trying to Poop.
15. Own a beach house in Maine
16. Become a Pinstriping Expert
17. Go to an opera or something so Cher can tell me I finally got use out of my prom dress
18. KENTUCKY DERBY
19. Learn how to hoola hoop so I don’t look like I’m humping air
20. Go to the Olympic games so I can wear a U.S. Swim cap and swing goggles around my head during the Gymnastic Preliminaries so people can ask me if I’m lost and I can respond with more America Chants.
21. Be a leader in my field #EyedolizeMe
22. Bring back disco
23. Start a charity
24. Create some life changing makeup necessity
25. Have my makeup featured on the cover of a magazine. I may or may not die after this happens so I might as well just end the list here.
26. No wait-Join a roller derby team with the name Michelle O Bomba and my signature move will be called the slice and dice. Now I can die happy.
27. LOL I'M ADDING MORE. Create a product line solely inspired by Cha Cha Degregorio
28. Get Hamilton Tickets before I’m 40
29. Convince Cher to get another dog so I can name her Donatella Versace and call her Hot Donna for short.
20. Promoting self-love, self-confidence, and self worth with makeup art
31. Follow through with my fail-safe plan if the makeup artist thing doesn’t work out. (Obvi. A writer/columnist OR a historian of some sort).
32. Learn Elvish