Blinded By The Light

September 27, 2016

 

 

 

 

Do you ever think back to when you were younger and go over all the lessons/rules/regulations you’ve learned as a kid? 

 

I mean like basic shit 

 

Say please and thank you 

 

Raise your hand if you have a question 

 

Flush the bowl 

 

.......

 

At a young age we were taught not to hold scissors upright, anything pointy really, or sharp- keep it down to the ground… 

 

 

so like 

 

* eye squint* 

 

 

 

WHY THE FUCK DID YOU JUST GO INTO THE UTENSIL DRAWER TO GET A FORK THAT YOU EAT WITH TO STICK ON YOUR NOSE? 

 

My god. 

 

 

 

You do understand that one wrong move, sneeze, blink, your eyeballs just became skewered and you’re one step closer to a Paleo Diet. 

 

Explain that in the ER.  

 

“Oh why hello Nurse, what is your name? I cant read your nametag because I permanently blinded myself trying to contour.  How’s my highlight though?” 

 

But what do I know 

 

 

 

I have a terrific idea! 

 

Call me crazy -but 

 

How about following the lines already on your face? Hellooooo natural bone structure!!

 

If you can’t see them, play makeup artist and start shadowing wherever you think is best. 

 

Guess what. 

 

It comes off if you make a mistake.  

 

AND- I would also bet a large some of money that it will take you less time to reapply your base makeup and contour than it does to do your winged liner. 

 

Buuuut  

 

If you still want a sharp line, bake underneath with translucent powder like the rest of us or tape out your face with some scotch-tape and keep all household appliances away from your face. 

 

Ciao!

 

 

 

 

 

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