80 Something Thoughts: Flying Edition.

October 8, 2016

 

Are you shitting me?!  Where am I supposed to put my bags?

 

Hogs..

 

Wow! Did these planes get smaller or is my ass just fatter? 

 

Oh good. Babies. Three. Babies.

 

Was that a dog that just barked?

 

Let me just sit down.

 

Shit.

 

I smell shit.

 

Is it me?

 

No. Not me. It was the child.

 

Good. Not even off of the ground yet..

 

 

 

And where are my Xanax?!

 

*Checks purse*

 

Perfect! In above storage.

 

Good job Mich.

 

I'm going to die, the plane is going to explode and I am going to die.

 

Oh my god Isle seat woman is wearing her neck pillow backwards.

 

He he he he it looks like a neck brace.

 

 

 

I wonder if she knows that that's not how you wear it ?

 

Should I tell her?

 

...

 

Nah.

 

Ooo!! Take off briefing Movie!

 

I bet you my flotation device is a manual blower and not one of those new pull here auto tabs. 

 

I just know it . This is a self blower. I am sitting on a self blower.

 

I don't want a self blower! that's not what I want to do right before I die - oh excuse me just one more second my vest is almost firm just a few more puffs .

As I'm red in the face with spit everywhere .

 

 

 

Oh my god isle woman is drinking.

 

It's 8am

 

I want to be her friend!

 

I think I'm going to watch $100 worth of Harry Potter movies I downloaded just for this trip!

 

Oh look! They aren't working . Surprise!

 

 

 

$30 bucks for Wi-Fi on the plane. Sure, why the fuck not !! Swipe.

 

TURBULENCE

 

Hail Mary full of grace God bless America my country 'tis of thee.

 

 

 

This lady just put her seat back up in my space?!

 

Small quarters lady! small.quarters.

 

 

 

Fuzzy sock time!

 

Good thing I forgot them.

 

Dammit just lost the water Cap.

 

Going to have to chug this now.

 

Still smells like shit.

 

Pretzels!

 

Wino  is lunging up and down the plane!!

Her form is perfection.

 

I'm going to try and sleep.

 

SCREAMING BABY!

 

Hmm.

 

I packed so wrong for this trip.

 

*Looks down at leather boots*

Thinks of California...

 

Aw! Super cute couple across the way! Hi guys! So sweet.

 

DIE

 

 

 

99.9% sure the woman next to me just mumbled something about Naproxen.

 

Those pretzels did absolutely nothing.

 

My butt is numb.

 

What time is it?

 

Oh my god. Did my phone update by itself?

 

I'm so tech challenged.

 

LOL. JK I'm a genius.

 

I'm going to text BFF Jan.

 

"What fucking time is it?"

"It's 12:48."

 

Yup. Auto updated.

Sweet!

 

I love plane selfies!

The woman behind me doesn't though...

LOL but if this lady only knew how cute we looked in this picture . I should show her. 

 

Wino is passed out!

 

56 minutes left.

Yes!!!

 

Woooo I am sweating !

 

GASP

 

Did I put on deodorant this morning?

 

 

 

Where the hell are my shoes?

 

Damn it!

 

I bet they're behind me where selfie hater is.

Yup.

Well shit, this is awkward 

Oh ok she was nice about it. 

 

LANDING !!

 

Ugh my ears!

 

Don't blow up, don't blow up, don't blow up !

 

STUCK THE LANDING. 

 

 

 

Woooo! I'm alive!

 

OOO! Wino's awake!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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