Where Have You Been?

Puhhhleaaase! I think I've been everywhere and by everywhere I mean nowhere I've just been busy with "life."


I have yet talk to my readers directly yet, but I see you Kansas and my 13 readers there !!! Ya'll probably don't need an explanation because you get it! Life- shit comes up! You know the drill-but if you're new here, welcome! Hope you like sarcasm and profanity!


I wrote drafts of blogs to post on the fly so there would always be something up so it would look like the site wasn't dead.BUT YOU ARE MY PEOPLE AND WE GET EACH OTHER! You're gunna know if I'm bullshitting you and post just to post!

(So guilty of this on the gram)

I'm gunna give you a life update. Where I've been, what I've been doing, what I plan on doing blah blah blah here I go!

Ok so the week of November 14th- HELLOOOO GYM! One of my bffs was getting married the following week. I'm in the wedding and waited until the last minute to really up my diet and exercise game. P.S. this was a four year engagement #GoMich

So that week really involved gym, nails, hair , wax, you know, the primping we do just so we look like we tried. That week was also the church run through and rehearsal dinner. LOL church run through- is that even what it's called? Everything went along swimmingly until it was brought to my attention that the wedding party does a full blown entrance skit into the reception.


Listen. The last wedding I was in I was 13 and we just kind of smiled, shimmied, and walked in to a formation so the bride and groom could walk through an awkward arm tower of flowers.

My partner seemed to have it under control. He said he already had the routine for our big entrance ready to rock 'n' roll, so naturally I asked him what that was.

Ready for this one?

"We're going to walk down the staircase and when we get to the bottom you're going to twerk and I'm going to pretend to throw money at you."

I thought he was kidding until I realized he was an idiot. Maybe it was the look on my face but he changed skit ideas rather quickly. Fast-forward to the wedding day, we ended up smiling, shimmying, and walking into that same tower flower formation.

The next day was Thanksgiving. I shoved food down my throat even though I wasn't hungry. I had work the next day so I wasn't moving after the food coma set in.

My cousin's cousin (follow me here, in Jersey we're related to everyone ) was visiting from Alabama. Every time he's here he teaches me more and more about bourbon. Now... I will drink it but it's not my go to. I haven't found a bourbon that I really enjoy sipping on UNTIL NOW. Angels Envy! Try it you won't regret it. I was hesitant on getting into the burbon simply because I thought I was going to grow chest hair and a penis. BUT this is delicious! I mean, I also like Michters with a splash of sprite but only because it says Mich.

Now where was I...

BFF JAN took me to go see the Radio City Christmas Show! I've never been so excited! I felt like this experience would make me just a little less miserable! It was amazing. Every number was amazing! The Rockettes were phenomenal-I mean hello legs! Every time they did a kick line, which was in every number, I cried. It was also free hat day so everyone in the audience got a Santa Hat. So cute.

Two days later I went to go see Stevie Nicks at the Garden and holy shit I was reborn. What an experience! She is phenomenal! She opened up her little gothic treasure chest and sang some of her old-school songs and there were tears !

And then she sang Edge of 17 and I died.

Speaking of death, as I left the concert there was a girl outside with no jacket on sitting next to her boyfriend. She clearly had a bad batch of something. So my cousin ( yes, another one), myself, and some other people from the concert went over to see if they needed help. But that was cut short because the girl that was in need of help told everyone to go eff themselves and that was the end of that.


But hey, it is what it is. Wished her the best and then got into a six person limo where I passed out due to exhaustion and the flu! YAHOO!

So you probably didn't know this either but I work with the girl that got married ,T, and BFF JAN. No, not in makeup- we work for an endodontist doing root canals all day. Now you're probably thinking, "Well shit she's just a jack of all trades!" And yes you'd be absolutely right. I will definitely write a little more about all the jobs that I do including suctioning spit (so many great stories!) but bottom line - this job put me through college. I have been working with teeth for that reason and I've been assisting just as long as I've been doing make up. The benefits are beautiful, the money is great , and I work with my best friends!

But it's time for me to go (Led Zeppelin, Ramble On, Sing it with me!) I need to leave this job and start doing what this job paid for -which was a degree in communications, marketing, and management.

During these last few weeks I have been cleaning up my resume and applying to other jobs.

My exterior is one of a cool gabagool but inside I am a nervous anxiety ball because I had a shitty experience during my last interview and yes, this tragedy was about three years ago and I never went on another one because it really hurt my ego. I ended up taking my 9 year dental experience off my resume. But it's back on now, baby! I'm proud of this job!

Suck it the fuck up, Michelle.

Now that I pulled my head out of my ass and realized that when they say get back on the damn horse you get back on the damn horse! I'm ready to go again.

You really want to know what happened on that job interview, right?

Long story short this nice lady (and by nice lady read my mind) didn't understand why I was applying for a job in marketing when my work experience had included a bit about endodontics. I tried to spin it to get it to work for me like how they teach you in school to make it work for your benefit, but the interviewer just kept saying, "But you work with teeth."

Nothing gets passed you, skip! What I wanted to say was,"Yes, it says that on my resume. Yes, I work with teeth because it's a great job that allowed me to go to college to get a degree in marketing so I could work for you in a marketing position. I had to work at a real job through college so I could go!"

But I didn't and I kept it really positive and kept doing my little spins just like how they taught me in school and no, I didn't get the job. The email was something like, 'looking for someone with marketing experience...'

OK cool. It is what it is.

Everything happens for a reason, right?

Ya know... that woman came in for a root canal at my office?

What else have I been doing these past few weeks?

Oh right since we are already on a somewhat of a depressing note-might as well keep going with the theme! My dog Lola also hasn't been doing so hot. We brought her to the vet a few days ago and she has a long ass list of things wrong with her. Granted she is nine years old and body slammed a lot of windows trying to get to the mailman ... probably leading up to her hip dysplasia today. I'd also like to let you know that she is a small silky terrier weighing in at 15 pounds. She would run to pick up speed and launch her full body 2 feet into the air at the large window in the family room. She cracked it multiple times. So send your prayers this way to Little Miss Lola and her shit hips, enlarged liver, problematic bladder, and her spreading ear infection!

Do you have a migraine yet?

Throw in some Christmas Decor in the midst of Mich and that brings us to today!

I'm feeling much better, the dog is somewhat stable, I am still under the Rhiannon curse, and T is back from her honeymoon so the office is no longer short staffed! Woot!

Tomorrow I am going to see Fiddler on the Roof for the second time- my all time favorite show! Side note- it's my favorite show because it was the first musical I was ever in..I was casted as a Son.

Yup, that's right, me, a little Jewish boy.

Probz gunna stop by the tree and take some basic bitch pics so you guys think I have a life- maybe insty a pic of an overpriced cosmo- you already know!

Yo, guys! Before I wrap this up- how do we feel about the Pantone color of the year being Greenery???? I mean I don't hate it but I KNOW some of you are PISSED!

Ok back to ending this..

I'm back, I have more posts comin atchya fast, and I can't wait for you to read them!



#chitchat #lifestyle #HolidaySeason

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