For Auld Lang Syne, My Dear



Barely? Me too.

Just kidding 2016 was great for me!

I posted a selfie on the gram and wanted my caption to be about my kick ass year so I came up with, “I know 2016 was shit for most, but it’s been great for me! Happy New Year!” Thinking that was overkill, I decided it was best to go with the more humble-wishing you a happy healthy blah blah blah.

With the launch of my blog and the growth of my readers, for most of 2016 I’ve been jollier than Santa's asshole. But this was my 2016 resolution- to be more positive. Yes, to some, this may sound silly but for my people who, like myself, are naturally pessimistic, you already know this is major. I had to start training myself on turning negatives into positives. AND LET ME TELL YOU - not. easy.

I started out slow-instead of throwing myself on a magical unicorn I familiarized myself with a few different mantras to get me through.

They are:

1. Happiness is a choice

2. You can care, but not carry

3. No, that doesn't work for me

4. Be grateful

I drilled these into my head until they became automatic responses. I spent most of my teen/young adult life depressed, looking for something to make me happy. It was't until last year when I realized that if I wanted to be happy I could be. Simple as that. I choose to be happy. If I want to be angry or frustrated, that's a choice too. But, if I want to be happy that's on me. I was't going to allow anyone or anything dictate my emotions except for myself. If something is making me angry or frustrated I learned to deflect the bullshit and say, "No, that does't work for me," and sass walk back into my happy place.

Once this happiness protocol started to go on autopilot, I started noting all of the great, wonderful things that surround me. I am truly blessed and my secret is just be grateful- even when things go wrong, know that it's happening for a reason. You may not understand that reason the second it happens, or the week after, but one day it will click, and resonate with you in a way that will make you a stronger, better person.

It's in my nature to carry everyone's problems. I can't help it, I'm an empath. If you really look through my sass you'd see me in my true from- a nice big, bleeding, crying heart. "Oh you need eyes, here take mine!" as I rip them from my skull. Yup, that's me! A great big welcome mat for other people's problems. I needed to learn to detach from others with love and realize that I can truly care but it's not my job to carry them.

I can't take full credit for finding my "inner namaste," I did have some help with accepting my own spiritual gifts from a few different spiritual mentors, clairvoyants, and hypnotherapists. More on this-I promise!

I saw so many posts on how 2016 has been the literal worst. I mean, with many greats dying and that terrible Mariah slaughter (my god, did you see that ship sink?) I’m not so sure how 2017 is going to be but here’s to hoping for the best!

Now, as I edit this post, I would just like to inform everyone that yesterday was a shitty cold rainy day in North Jersey and as I was running to my car I tripped over myself and fell on the sidewalk. Yup. Threw my phone, wallet, and keys into the black abyss. I fell into a plank position and then brought it down to a people's elbow. I finished off my routine by rolling over onto my back in defeat. Did I mention I was in snow flake pajamas and a red full length puff coat? For a hot sec. I thought about rolling into the street, but then I decided this would make a great story, so here I am.

* actual footage*

5 hours before that happened, I decided to go food shopping for healthy crap ( I used crap because I use the word shit too much) I spent $100 buckeronies on fucking carrots. I bought apple cider vinegar, and of course, as I'm bringing my bags up the stairs, one decides to shit out (theres that word again) and there goes my vinegar, now broken and permeating the front of my house which now smells like one big douche.

I can't take full credit for the douche line, it was Cher's. She helped me pick up the glass in the rain and told me that because I didn't double bag my groceries her house smells like a douche.

Sorry, Ma.

I share this with you so you can see what an absolute struggle it is to be positive and happy all of the time. Especially now, as I'm typing this with an ice pack on my arm deciding whether or not I'm going to fully commit to a juice cleanse. But here I am wishing you the boring, humble, blah blah, healthy, happy new year! Make this year count!


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