Didn't See That Coming...
Damn it- he knows.
I started seeing a clairvoyant regularly for about 3 years now. At a really confusing, low point in my life I intuitively knew I needed guidance that went beyond a shrink. Although... Michael kinda became that for me.
My October 15' reading was over. My current problems found resolution through every card turned, Michael had looked up at me and casually said, “So when are you going to accept your gifts? You’re ready and they want you too.”
I looked over at the chaise lounge where my Great Grammy Green was sitting.
By the way, she’s dead.
He knows. I mean, ‘course he knows- he’s psychic. Ugh. 2 years had passed and I really thought I was going to get away with it! But as my dead posse’ (that’s what I call them, my angels & spirit guides that hang around) nudged me to fully accept my gifts, I was left feeling nervous, scared, and .2 seconds away from pooping my pantaloons which is why I put off these gifts in the first place.
“Use it or lose it,” they told me.
Can’t really argue with that, huh?
I learned to hush spirit popping in and out of my head at a young age, I wasn’t as successful in quieting my spot on intuition and premonitions though, which would mostly creep up on me in my dreams.
Now almost two years into accepting whatever this is (still trying to figure it out) every month is a new "lesson". I believe God only gives you what you can handle and boy did he just lay it on me.
Spirit uses signs and symbols. It’s how I communicate with them most of the time. Sometimes it’s a full blown convo. and sometimes it's through pictures, as if my brain had a projector screen that rolls down so I can see clips and shit.
I remember thinking to myself shortly after the voices in my head started up again that this is how it was going to end. I have lost my goddamed mind. I tried to come up with a logical explanation-I know what happened! I smoked a bad batch of something in college and now I'm paying for it. Yes! THAT'S IT! I've burned holes in my brain and now im going to have to commit myself.
But the sounds and smells (yes, smells, for example, I smell my grandma when she's hanging around me- wreaks of Virginia Slims) all became somewhat normal the more and more I accepted it. Fear is crippling, and acts as a block not only with spirit but in all aspects of life. The less scared I became the easier it was for me to get a grip on "tapping in and out" as I call it- I may be able to speak to my dead posse' but it was important for me to set boundaries with them too.
When I first accepted, I wasn't sure how to even begin, like, was there a hand book or something? To my knowledge no one in my family has witchy tendencies except for my brother who is sensitive like myself- but in his words he's just "too busy to deal."
I was advised to get the energy moving by picking a form of divination. This is no joke, I literally lit up like a Christmas Tree because, well, helloooo I was one step closer to becoming Professor Trelawney minus the Hogwarts letter and the glasses. I decided to do tarot, not tea leaves because I can barely make ice water.
I've gotta say, even the cards scared me at first because I knew what I could do with them-OH MY GOD YOUR BROTHER'S WIFE'S SISTER'S HUSBAND IS GOING TO DIE! But when working in this field, it's important to know there's a light side and a dark side. Yeah, no sacrificial chickens in my closet thank you very much. I don't do doom and gloom and I prefer to be the Obi-Wan, if you will- no one likes a Darth Sidious.
Cards and crystals-those are my go too. I took such a liking to crystals that I carry them with me most of the time depending on what rock cocktail I believe I will need that day. If you tried to cop a feel you'd probably be getting a hand full of tumbled crystals instead of boobage. Sorry. Someone start making leggings with pockets, k?
You got a problem- I got a rock for it.
Like I said, I’m still trying to get the hang of things and have met some SUPER, AMAZING, INSPIRING people along the way. I’ve also encountered some lower vibrational frequencies (that’s spiritual talk for assholes) too. Will share stories soon!
I'm not sure if I will ever get used to dead people popping in to say hello, but I'm doing my best to not shriek every time I see a shadow flying around out of the corner of my eye.
This is just the first onion layer (Shrek, anyone? No? Ok..) of my spiritual story, I didn't want to scare everyone away all at once, ya feel me? I look forward to peeling back more layers with you. PEACE.